Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Hurdles of Living As A Christian Single Isn't Just A Girl Thing Part Deux


There I said it...let me say it one more time


Ok now that I got that out of the way....

This post is going to be talking about another major hurdle in the Christian walk which is abstinence and the emotions that are associated with it.  For both guys and girls it is one of the toughest things to deal it. Its flooded on the television, they have some of the most intense scenes in movies, and every single song on the radio hints to it.

But this post is not going to be talking about the issues of sex in media but rather the struggle of being an abstinent single in a sex craved society.

Now I have a lot of good female friends and they are honest about their issues regarding sex and yes they do crave it, but to them there is also that emotional attachment to it.

For men on the other hand,

This is how a man's sex drive is to us in our mind (at least in mine):
werewolf transform

Scary right? For many men it's purely animalistic. I will be completely honest, as much as I abstain and do all that I can to not engage in lustful activity, and stay away from relationships that might compromise my walk, there is still that innate animalistic urge to have sex. Like a guy that is a werewolf (I know they are not real, this is just an example), I'll have days were I'm good (No full moon) and I'll watch a movie, a topless scene will pop up and I'll think "Psshhh whatever, does nothing for me", but then I'll be at work and a co-worker will just wear that deadly shirt/pants combo that will accentuate her figure just right (Full moon) and just like the above image my mind will switch the animal mode and my mind and body are just craving to have sex. That even at times, being completely honest I've broken pen, pencils, and other objects because of how uncontrollable it gets.

It gets to the point where I'm question "God why did you even places these urges in my mind and in my heart?"

"Well Xavier, it's probably not that bad, it isn't like you have women coming after you for sex, you just have to divert your eyes"


Women, have you ever have this happen to you. You're a party you see a really cute guy, you know in your mind, he's not a Christian, and you think "There is no point" right? so you pay no attention to him and continue on with yo' bad self in this party or event or where ever you are. Then...your friend comes over

"You would not believe who thinks your cute..." In you're REALLY hoping it's not the cute guy who you saw when you walked into the room and hope it's the guy in the dance floor who's trying his best get "jiggy" with it so it's easier to give the "No, I'm ok"

(Dancing with the Star....Wars...)

 But nope its:

(Just to let my readers know I KINDA look like this guy )#ThingsIWishFor

Yeap one of the most attractive guys in the party likes you, but you know of him already, you know the past he's had with other women. He's not a bad guy, if anything deep down inside you know he's a great guy. He's been asking for you. He wants your number but you know he's not a Christian.

Your friends say: "Just flirt to convert" "Missionary date" "He'll learn to love Jesus"

But in the end of the day where is the relationship going to go? You know at one point you are going to reach a crossroad and the physical aspects of the relationship is going to take hold.


Well dear readers,

The point is that for many Christian men situations like this arise. I don't not mean to toot my horn, but I don't think I am a bad looking guy, and there are plenty times where I will be somewhere with friends, and the same situation that I played out for you with females is the same thing that happens with me.

"OH....EM....GEE, wow Xavier it is so tough being a good looking guy that women want to date"

My answer to that is:

Yes. It is.

Not on being good looking (I'm not conceited), but imagine an abstinent male trying to not have sex going somewhere with a group of friends and then being told "Hey that girl likes you"


"Every time I see Xavier, I just stick my hands under my armpits"


Can I just drown in those eyes?

She's a great girl, she makes you laugh, everything is great about her, she says all the right things, and is super into you...but guess what? You know she isn't a big fan of church, and she told your friend she wants to sleep with you. She's knows your a virgin, but she doesn't care, she thinks its cute, and if anything its more of a turn on because she knows that means you're not a man whore who is going to cheat on her.

The werewolf lustful part of me wants SOOO BAD to date her, to have sex with her, to be happy with someone who is so beautiful and so crazy about me.

But God has called me not to lust, but to serve Him and His glory. And a lot of situations like that I have always said


 And even the times that I have thought and was tempted to, God has always provided the will power to get over it.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." -1 Corinthians 10:13

So for the men, and also the ladies that may be struggling with lust, let as keep steadfast and keep our eyes on Christ the ruler and redeemer and walk in the path of righteousness so that we may not stumble.

 "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh" - Galatians 5:16