So, this is the first entry of my blog. I'm not sure where to start off other than who I am and why I decided to start a blog.
First Xavier Eisenhardt is a pseudonym. But I am a male in my 20's who is a Christian and has been single for the majority of my adulthood. Dating and being single has been something that I have struggled with, but recently I have found myself helping those like myself deal with their singleness and swerving away of the potholes of the singleness road.
We live in an age where being a Christian and being single is one of the hardest things to do. We are constantly being bombarded with images and reminders that there is something wrong with us for being single. Churches have couples retreats, Sunday School for couples, pre-marital counseling, and family ministries leaving out a growing population of single Christians in the church out in the dark. Hopefully for those who stumble unto this blog this serves as a beacon of hope.
Some key points I just want to start off saying is:
#1: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
People think just because you are not currently dating anyone that there is something wrong with you. You see as all your other friends getting into relationships and you think "God how come you bless them with relationships and not me?" At times you doubt your own self-worth and what's God's plans for you. First I would like to say:
You are wonderfully and fearfully made.
"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. " - Psalms 139:14
You are a wonderful work of art, made in God's image to fulfill His plan in this world. Do not let others being in a relationship be the measurement of who you are, because the way that God sees you is greater than how you see yourself.
#2: SINGLENESS IS NOT FOREVER
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" -Ecclesiastes 3:1
Singleness many times is a season in our lives. It could be for a month, it could be for a year, it could be for a decade, but in the end of the day what are you doing in this season?
Instead of sitting around and asking the question:
- "Why am I single?"
- "What am I doing for God?"
- "How am I using this season of singleness to honor God?"
We are given a period in our lives where we are not held back by relationships to go out and be adventurous for Christ. Not saying you can not do that if you are married or in a relationship, but there are certain advantages to being single, so USE IT! If you do not know what gifts you have or what paths to take, invite the Holy Spirit in, and see what path He wants you to take.
#3 SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:25-34
When talking to the worship artist Jeremiah Bowser, I asked him the story of how he met his wife. To paraphrase what he told me, he basically said "I sought after God, she sought after God and we bumped to each other"
(Not saying seek after God only to find your soul mate)
But do not be anxious about your future, because God has a plan for you, like the verse Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
But we need to seek first the Kingdom of God and all His righteousness! Many times we seek after a boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/husband harder than we seek after God. We spend more time reading relationship books than we do reading the Bible, we pray more about God giving us someone than asking God to let His Kingdom come and His will be done through us. C.S. Lewis has a quote that I love:
"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now."
If we want love in our lives we need to know the author of love, to love the author of love so that when the author of love writes our love story we know how to better love
AGAIN I am new to this whole blogging thing so I'm sure you'll find grammatical errors here and there, but again I am just sharing my experiences of singleness to better help those going down the same path I am in.